What would you say if someone said to you, "I hope you fail!" Would it make you angry? Would you want to defend yourself? What if the person that told you was a godly man who was a spiritual authority in your life?

I heard that very statement today. It wasn't directed at me, but at a friend of mine. It was exactly what she needed to hear. He followed the statement up with, "If you were to do everything perfect, then you will never be able to see that after failing that we still love you." 

That is the kind of love that we should be living. Sometimes it is hard to hear words like that. It is a messy love that sometimes looks broken. It is a love that is willing to stand with people through their ugliness, so that they can grow into who God is creating them to be. It creates an environment of safety and trust. We can only live this by the grace of God!

I am leaving tomorrow (July 9) with 7 teams to go to San Juan, Dominican Republic. Pray for a great travel day! Pray for good attitudes and for communication with everyone involved. We can't wait to get started!

God brought to my attention this morning that my leading the P squad may not only be about me having an amazing squad with two co-squad leaders that fit so well together! 

God is all about redeeming our time. As I have been here in the Dominican Republic I am constantly reminded of my first month on the race. I had been raised up to be a team leader, but I took that position with reluctance. I struggled with fear, self reliance, people pleasing and striving to do everything well, amongst other things. I was being shaped and developed into a person who hears God's voice and obeys, but I didn't trust myself to hear him right. 

Throughout the year God constantly put me into situations where I had to trust him. There really was no other option. Guess what! He came through every time! I learned that there is no reason to fear because he is always in control; he is the only one I need to please and I can do that by just being with him and having an intimate relationship with him. 

I have now been raised into a higher level of authority as a squad leader. This time around I have not taken the position with reluctance. Though I know that this position is not to be taken lightly, I will have some really hard decisions to make and problems will occur, but I can take it with full confidence. My confidence does not come from my ability, but from knowing that God is in control. He has orchestrated this beautiful master piece. God has sent me back to the Dominican Republic and Haiti to redeem that time when I was resistant. Praise the Lord!

I sat silently in a pitch black room. The immense storm that just passed left the sky dark. I waited for my eyes to adjust, but I realized that there's a point where your eyes don't adjust anymore and I was there. It would be very easy to get disoriented, but I sat quietly waiting. My eyes began shifting wildly, playing tricks on me. I could see tiny flashes of light fading in and out through a window across from me. Firefly's that I had never noticed before seemed brighter than I had ever seen. A flash of lightning would flicker across the sky. The light seemed to radiate through the room and enhance everything. My eyes locked onto the glimmer, taking in as much of the surroundings as I could for the brief moment. But the darkness enveloped the room again making it seem even more ominous than before. I sank back into my hiding place waiting, contemplating the effects of the darkness. 

When we sit in the darkness long enough, we begin to adjust to that darkness. Most of the time it is a slow fade into that darkness. I tend to read in the dark a lot. I start off with enough light to see the page clearly, but then as the sun fades my eyes adjust until the words are no longer decipherable. 

At night when I am ready to go to bed, I turn out all the lights and make my way to my room in the dark. Only a few points of light from clocks or electrical devices are on, but in the dim glow I can make it easily by memory. 

As I sit and type this blog I sit in a darkened room. When I look at the lighted screen everything seems deeply black around me. When I focus on the dark my eyes adjust and I can see points where the light touches giving me some bearing, but it still is really dark. But then it hit me that if I turned the computer around in the dark room it would illuminate everything.

It's really hard not to adjust to the darkness around you. Your thinking is slowly numbed into believing cultural truths. Many times we do not even realize that we have adjusted.  Have you succumb to the world around you? Do you fear the unknown? Do you worry unnecessarily? Do you complain when things don't go the way you planned or the situation isn't as picture perfect as would have liked? Is your security in your job or the things you have? Do you hold back the extras that God has given you just in case you will need them in the future? These are just a few of the many ways we have stopped trusting God and blurred the lines of worldly living and living as a child of God! 

1 John 1:5-10 

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

Live as a child of the light! Do not fear, God is in control! It is not enough to know that he is in control, you have to let him take control of your life! Speak words of truth, your words bring life and they bring death. Rejoice in the Lord always! Your security is not in what you can provide for yourself, it is in what God provides for you! He will give you everything you need, it's a promise! If you have a great job and can provide for yourself and your family, praise God for it and bless others with it! Live your life as a blessing to others!

The problem with trusting God is that we don't know what his specific plan is and how and when he is going to come through. 

When my team was in Haiti last year we got to Port-Au-Prince and we had problems getting money. The ATM's were either not working or empty. We made several attempts at getting money in the city, but they all failed. By being in touch with AIM we were able to get money wired at the last minute. Because it was so expensive to go that route, we only took out the minimum of what we needed.

Once we got to our ministry site we explained to our contact what had happened. He very generously said, "We will make what you have work!" Because of his response, I was much more proactive that month in praying for blessings and abundance on them and that the money would stretch far beyond what it normally would. 

I was able to see the blessings in the small things that month. We had plenty of food to eat, fabulous coffee, beds to sleep in, transportation, internet access and probably many more that I've already forgotten about. With all that, we wanted to bless them in some way financially, but we could not get to the money that we had. 

Fortunately there were another two teams in the area. We went to visit them one night and found out that they had extra cash and they didn't want to have to exchange it. We were able to use that extra cash to bless our contacts. It was more than enough to cover all the little extras that we used and the abundance was a gift for the huge vision that this man has for Haiti.

When you are a child of God, who owns all things, you can be confident in his provision.  He knows all things so, in his wisdom, he knows exactly what we need and when we need it. Wait patiently, he will come through. He is a good Father!

For those who don't know, I am currently fund raising because I am going out on the race again as a squad leader. If you would like to support me financially you can click on the Support Me! link on the left and follow the instructions. If you don't already receive my blog updates you can click on the Update Alert link on the left and enter your e-mail address! Thank you for your encouragement and love!

"This is where we stand as a movement in our generation. We are in the throes of a reformation. No longer will we tolerate the status quo of an externally governed existence. No longer will we accept training in powerlessness. No longer will we live as servants and slaves. The religious motivation of the pending wrath of God and the ideals of a small life are no longer options for us. We are sons and daughters of the Most High. We are in training for reigning as never before. We now expect to be powerful, living an abundant life in Christ until the kingdoms of this earth become the Kingdom of our God."